经济学人|善于倾听

writer|Monica

双语阅读

The secrets of successful listening

成功倾听的秘诀

“When people talk, listen completely.” Those words of Ernest Hemingway might be a pretty good guiding principle for many managers, as might the dictum enunciated by Zeno of Citium, a Greek philosopher: “We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we say.”

“当人们说话时，要完全倾听。”欧内斯特•海明威的这句话对许多经理人来说可能是很好的指导原则，就像希腊哲学家基蒂翁的齐诺所说的格言一样:“我们有两只耳朵和一张嘴，所以我们应该多听少说。”

Some firms use a technique known as a “listening circle” in which participants are encouraged to talk openly and honestly about the issues they face (such as problems with colleagues). In such a circle, only one person can talk at a time and there is no interruption. A study cited in the Harvard Business Review found that employees who had taken part in a listening circle subsequently suffered less social anxiety and had fewer worries about work-related matters than those who did not.

一些公司采用一种被称为“倾听圈”的技术，鼓励参与者开诚布公地谈论他们所面临的问题(比如与同事之间的问题)。在这样一个圈子里，一次只能有一个人说话，不会有人打断。《哈佛商业评论》引用的一项研究发现，与没有参加倾听圈的员工相比，参加倾听圈的员工社交焦虑更少，对工作事务的担忧也更少。

Listening has been critical to the career of Richard Mullender, who was a British police officer for 30 years. Eventually he became a hostage negotiator, dealing with everything from suicide interventions to international kidnaps. By the end of his stint in uniform, he was the lead trainer for the Metropolitan Police’s hostage-negotiation unit.

倾听对理查德·马伦德的职业生涯至关重要，他在英国当了30年警察。最终，他成为了一名人质谈判专家，处理从自杀干预到国际绑架等各种问题。在工作结束生涯结束时，他已成为伦敦警察厅人质谈判小组的首席训练师。

When he left the force in 2007, he realised that his skills might be applicable in the business world. So he set up a firm called the Listening Institute. Mr Mullender defines listening as “the identification, selection and interpretation of the key words that turn information into intelligence”. It is crucial to all effective communication.

当他在2007年离开警队时，他意识到自己的技能或许可以应用于商界。所以他成立了一家公司，叫做倾听学院。马伦德将倾听定义为“对关键字的识别、选择和解读，将信息转化为智慧”。这对所有有效的沟通都是至关重要的。

Plenty of people think that good listening is about nodding your head or keeping eye contact. But that is not really listening, Mr Mullender argues. A good listener is always looking for emotions of the interlocutor’s values. And when it comes to a negotiation, people are looking for an outcome. The aim of listening is to ascertain what the other side is trying to achieve.

很多人认为好的倾听就是点头或保持眼神交流。但马伦德认为，这并不是真正的倾听。一个好的倾听者总是在寻找对话者价值观的情感。当涉及到谈判时，人们都在寻找一个结果。倾听的目的是确定对方想要达到的目标。

Another important point to bear in mind is that, when you talk, you are not listening. “Every time you share an opinion, you give out information about yourself,” Mr Mullender says.

另外要记住的一点是，当你说话的时候，你并没有在听。马伦德表示:“每次你发表意见时，你都在传递关于自己的信息。”

Hostage negotiators usually work in teams, but the lead negotiator is the only one who talks. “What we teach is that the second person in the team doesn’t really talk at all, because if they are busy thinking about the next question to ask, they aren’t really listening,” Mr Mullender explains.

人质谈判代表通常是团队合作，但首席谈判代表是唯一说话的人。马伦德解释说:“我们所教的是，团队中的第二个人根本不会真正说话，因为如果他们忙于思考下一个要问的问题，他们就不会真正倾听。”

The mistake many people make is to ask too many questions, rather than letting the other person talk. The listener’s focus should be on analysis. If you are trying to persuade someone to do something, you need to know what their beliefs are. If someone is upset, you need to assess their emotional state.

许多人犯的错误是问太多的问题，而不是让别人说话。听众的注意力应该集中在分析上。如果你试图说服某人做某事，你需要知道他们的信念是什么。如果有人心烦意乱，你需要评估他们的情绪状态。

Of course, a listener needs to speak occasionally. One approach is to make an assessment of what the other person is telling you and then check it with them. That gives the other party a sense that they are being understood. The fundamental aim is to build up a relationship so the other person likes you and trusts you, Mr Mullender says.

当然，听众需要偶尔发言。一种方法是对其他人告诉你的内容进行评估，然后与他们核实。这会给对方一种被理解的感觉。马伦德表示，根本目的是建立一种关系，让对方喜欢你、信任你。

The pandemic has meant that most business conversations now take place on the phone or online. Precious few in-person meetings occur. Some might think this makes listening more difficult; it is harder to pick up the subtle cues that people reveal in their facial expressions and body language.

新冠疫情意味着，现在大多数商务对话都是通过电话或网上进行的。很少有面对面的会面。有些人可能会认为这让倾听变得更加困难;人们很难从面部表情和肢体语言中捕捉到微妙的暗示。

But Mr Mullender says that too much is made of body language. It is much easier to understand someone if you can hear them but not see them, than if you can see but not hear them. He prefers to negotiate by telephone.

但马伦德表示，太多的东西是由肢体语言构成的。如果你能听到他们但看不见他们，比你能看到但听不到他们更容易理解一个人。而他更喜欢通过电话谈判。

Another key to good listening is paying attention and avoiding distraction. In the information age, it is all too easy for focus to drift to a news headline, a TikTok video or the latest outrage on Twitter. In another study in the Harvard Business Review , participants paired with distracted listeners felt more anxious than those who received full attention.

另一个倾听的关键是集中注意力，避免分心。在信息时代，人们的注意力很容易转移到新闻标题、TikTok视频或Twitter上最新的愤怒事件上。在《哈佛商业评论》的另一项研究中，与注意力分散的听众搭档的参与者比全神贯注的听众更焦虑。

The lockdown has increased the need for managers to listen to workers, since the opportunities for casual conversation have dwindled. Mr Mullender thinks that many people have become frustrated in their isolation, which can lead to stress and anger. He thinks there may be a business opportunity in helping managers listen more efficiently, so they can enhance employee well-being. After a year of isolation, many workers would probably love the chance to be heard.

封锁增加了经理倾听员工心声的需求，因为随意交谈的机会已经减少。马伦德认为，许多人在孤独中变得沮丧，这可能导致压力和愤怒。他认为，帮助管理者更有效地倾听，从而提高员工的幸福感，这可能是一个商机。在被隔离一年之后，许多员工可能会喜欢被倾听的机会。

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